you, the weird one.

I've always been hating on you since the first time we met, even until I supposed to interviewing you. I'm not willing to talk to you back then, because I hate you too much. But I made a big mistakes I reckon. I shouldn't hate someone too much, because the line between hate and love is so unbelievably close.

I still remembered the day I became mesmerized, the day I heard your voice. So vividly, and so clear. I admire you since then. And the things made me more amazed were came after that, like a flashlight. I still remember when I spent a week straight with you, and other friend obviously, it was awesome. Because I get to see you everyday. And on that week my feeling just like volcano in an erruption, that can explode at any time.

So many positive things that came from you, made me even deeply in little thing called love. Religious. Kind as f. Clever. Charming. I like your voice. I like your eyes. I like your foolish smile.

Glad I knew you, so I can forget about Gie even not in a brief of time. Thanks. There is no perfect human after all, and he is not perfect. Put things aside about his positiveness. Let's see. He is so hard to predict, there is nobody knew what he is up to, his current lover, his concern. So I can't freely ask someone about him. I should act like I'm a FBI agent or KGB agent maybe. He is kinda unpatient but patient enough to get angry. Honestly though, he is temperamental. Someone that can explode at any time without a warning. High tone, shocking.

I was so shocked when I became witness of an accident, he got mad. I was so sad because I got really confused, is this really the guy I love? the guy that I admire so much? he raised high tone to my friend?
I can't even focus when I rode my motorbike because of that, after that day I became traumatized. I became more careful about everything. Watch everything I did, everything I said. And his name was slowly disappeared from my pray, automaticly, didn't even realize. The Shalawat became less recited by me. Yes I did Shalawat-ed him because I freakinly deeply in love with him. But I was disappointed.

On top of that, the 'feeling' that I had on my chest covering all his flaw. It's like I spelled out all his flaw, and in conclusion I still said, I still like him though. It's hard, to have this feeling. Sometimes I hate him beyond the world. Sometimes I love him like there is no tomorrow. I hate my self for falling so hard and to someone that blurry. Again, one sided love.

But, damn, he is so charismatic, handsome, af.

Lastly, there is no clue what should I do. I just can continuing my prayer to God.Wishing him to be a better person. Less temperamental. Less cold.

Hallo Kang,

I honestly, truly, admire you.